Angel of Mercy

“People who have just been diagnosed with HIV must ignore all the billboards that say ‘€˜AIDS kills’€™. Obviously, we are all going to die at some point. But there is life with HIV. You just have to reach out and ask for help.”

So says Mercy Makhalemele, the 30-year-old co-presenter of a new TV series, “Beat it”, which is aimed at equipping HIV positive people to deal with the disease.

Unlike other media which focus on preventing HIV/AIDS, this TV show is aimed at helping the over four million HIV positive South Africans to live with the disease.

Makhalemele knows how difficult it is to come to terms with being HIV positive. When she found out that she had HIV in 1993, she knew little about the disease and thought that her death was imminent.

After wrestling alone with her secret for six months, Makhalemele blurted it out one Sunday to her husband, Sam Ndlovu, not long after giving birth to her daughter, Nkosi, who was born HIV positive.

“Oooh, there was fighting. Now I was this horrible person, I was a bitch’€¦ I was given so many names. He was as ignorant as I was. He was a heavyweight so he though he could not be HIV positive.”

To this day, she bears a scar on her head and burn marks on her hand after Ndlovu attacked her and he threw boiling water at her ‘€“ despite the fact that her tiny baby was on her back.

But the worst was still to come. Makhalemele’€™s husband appeared at her work the following day and continued to scream insults at her. As a result, all her colleagues heard about her HIV status and her boss fired her on the spot.

Like many women, Makhalemele learnt she was HIV positive while pregnant. “When I went for my ante-natal check-up, I was asked to do an HIV test. I confidently did this. I was married, I was not jolling around, so I thought I was the safest person.”

Ironically, Makhalemele’€™s husband blamed her simply because she knew her HIV status before he did.

After losing her husband and home, Makhelemele took work as a domestic worker. “From being a manageress, I became a maid for about six months. But I was lucky because the family I worked for loved and accepted me as I was.”

She also started working as an HIV/AIDS activist, helping with support groups at Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital.

But still her family ‘€“ headed by her father, the renowned jazz artist Mike Makhalemele who died recently ‘€“ had no idea that she was HIV positive.

All this changed after Makhalemele appeared on TV to talk about living with HIV.

“They put a mosaic over my face. But I like to talk with my hands. And when I got home, my son, Thabang, said “mama, I saw your hands on TV’€™.”

Her mother took the news very badly and Makhalemele had to get other AIDS activists to speak to her to persuade her to understand and accept the news.

Luckily, her father had met people with HIV while touring in Amsterdam. He was more accepting and told other family members to “leave Mercy to live her life” as there was nothing wrong with her.

After reconciling with her husband for the sake of their son, Makhalemele had to witness his AIDS-related death in 1994. The following year, her little daughter died.

“Nkosi died when she was two and a half years old. But I’€™m happy that I had her in my life She was well looked after. She was loved. She was happy, but she felt a lot of pain.”

Despite all this trauma, somehow husky-voiced Makhalemele has bounced back. She is now offering her incredible, no-nonsense strength to others living with the disease via the TV show.

“I normally say to people I draw strength from the dead. I think my survival comes from listening to voices coming from people from the dead. Whenever I hear their voices, I get the strength to face the next death. And of course, there is Thabang. He is 11 now and he doesn’€™t have HIV.”

Makhalemele believes that living healthily with HIV is only possible if a person has knowledge. And this is what she and co-presenter Sipho “Paddy” Nhlapo, an HIV positive youth activist from KwaThema, aim to offer viewers.

“It’€™s not worth it to be stuck without choices and infect the next person. Then you could be taking your own life by reinfecting yourself. There is a crazy combination of two words that people need to learn: I’€™ve got AIDS. I need aid.”

“Beat it” will offer information about HIV treatment, sexuality, nutrition, traditional healing and caring for children with HIV.

Each programme will also profile a person living with HIV, to encourage communities to accept that those with the disease are people just like them.

One taboo subject “Beat it” addresses is HIV positive people and sex.

“People with HIV never talk about sex. There are a lot of women and men living with HIV who haven’€™t had sex for years. It’€™s because they are HIV positive but also because of the anger,” says Makhalemele.

“But sex is your right. Carry on having sex but be responsible. This is something that I know very well. I deprived myself from sex because I thought it was such an evil thing that brought me to have HIV. You cannot blame sex. It’€™s a natural gift.”

* “Beat It” is a 13-part series which can be seen on e-tv from Sunday September 17th at 12.30pm and on Tuesday evenings at 6pm.

<img src="images/audio_icon.gif" border = "0"

Click here to listen to Mercy talking about living with AIDS

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  • healthe

    Health-e News is South Africa's dedicated health news service and home to OurHealth citizen journalism. Follow us on Twitter @HealtheNews

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